Those Were the Days -Sunday, April 25, 2004 -4:03 pm-
For long periods in my life, nothing goes on, and then comes a night when it's all happening. Last night, all of it was happening at Outland.
Michelle had gone home for a wedding and a funeral and I had spent the day trying to get something to happen. In the mid-evening, the person with whom I was supposed to hang out before going to the club bailed on me, putting me in more than a little bit of a cross mood. I sat at home, cussing at the computer for a long time, leaving just in time to catch up to people before they went to the club. I got the the girls' house just in time to see everyone finish getting ready. He'er and Melissa rode with me to the club while Heather and Aaron went to pick up Brian and Cassie. While we were rolling down 315, He'er was talking about how her car had been broken into last weekend at the Lennox. She talked about standing there dumbly, looking at the door, not quite knowing what was going on while Heather had already called the Police and started taking care of things. We got the the club much before Heather, Aaron, and the young kids, so we just kind of milled around.
Outland was packed and much darker than usual. They've changed the lighting routines to a much more minimal sequence. Finally everyone was there and we all started dancing. Well, almost all of us started dancing. One person just stood around the whole night. I'm not sure why, but I did at one time hear her protest that if she danced things would bounce. This struck me as rather the point. Anyway, we're flinging ourselves about randomly when He'er reaches over, grabs Melissa behind her neck with both hands, and kisses her within an inch of her life. Now, I must say, the look on the danes' (Cassie and Brian) faces was truly to be treasured. I am told my face was amusing as well, though this was more due to the fact I was wondering how that was going to work the next morning.
Speaking of He'er, she was in fine form last night! She was so much fun to be around. She was gettin' freaky with everyone and amusing the hell out of me. At one point, she came on to Cassie. I have never seen a little girls so scared in my life. Later in the night, He'er was facing me and we were dancing quite close when Aaron came up from behind her. She was pressed into the middle, which might have been enjoyable for her in other circumstances. The problem was that Aaron and I could not get in sync. All we achieved was to beat the hell out of her with our pelvises. Watching her try to get her freak on with Brian. He just didn't get it.
I think it was about this time a totally hot girl in skimpy black underwear, black pasties, and a tight, completely sheer dress came in. Holy fuck was she hot. He'er, Aaron, Mel, and I were all "DAMN yo!" The girl proceeded to move around getting it one with any mammal she found. At on point, she was in a booth in the corner flat on her back with two other girls working her over. We all watched her for a while, well for most of the rest of the night. Eventually, I got distracted by being the Ice Pimp and kind of lost track of her. This ice thing... yeah, that was a bit over the top. I had a cup of ice. He'er wanted some of said ice. In the mood that I was, I decided she couldn't just take it out of the cup, she had to take it from me. My teeth to be exact. This started a game that would last the rest of the night, eventually ensnarling Heather and Aaron in its devious web.
I met a shitload of people I knew last night, it was really kind of odd. There was about half my theatre there, as well as about 4 people from the photo department at OSU. I talked with Ann, who was a grad student in photo when I was there. for a while about what she had done and about the photo program. It's even worse than when I was there. Ardine, the professor who really was holding the department together, was promoted to Chair of the Art Department. Of the two professors left, on of them quit and the other one doesn't give a damn about anything other than getting his own books published. So there's no one around to make sure that the program stays together. All of the classes are being taught by adjunct professors who earn $1,500 per quarter per class. They're also only contracted one term at a time so they never know if they've got a job before the start of classes. When I left, there were 22 students in the program and all program classes were capped at 18 students (see the problem). Now, there's only 9 students in the program. It's kind of sad.
One of the times I was grinding He'er from behind, I caught, in the corner of my eye, the hot, mostly naked girl's face illuminated for an instant by a strobe. Now, all night, I had been looking at her as some random person putting on a good show, but in the flash of light, my facial recognition instincts were triggered. I kind of blew it off at the time. A little while later, the Heathers, and the youngins had gone outside. For some reason, a neuron fired. I stopped dancing. I looked at the girl, I looked at Aaron. I leaned over to Aaron and said, "I'm going to do something, and the best possible outcome is that nothing at all happens." When next the hot girl looked my was and was relatively close to me, I shouted, "Melanie!" The girl didn't respond, and I turned away, relieved. Mere moments I was hit from behind at Mach 5 by something with 4 arms and 3 leges (I could count because they were all wrapped around me) and screaming the word "cousin". Yes, that's right, that is, in fact, not a typo. I attempted to turn around to say hello, which was greatly difficult (re: arms and legs). There was a half, dressed, very friendly, utterly hot woman hanging onto me, and she was family. Sigh. Melanie went off into some high pitched squeal about how great it was that I was there and how she didn't know I liked such places. "It's been so long since I've seen.... OH FUCK YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE ME IN THIS DRESS!!!", she cried. You see, she was very drunk and possibly other things as well. She hadn't realized or remembered what she was wearing and how much of her I could see until that moment. After taking a some time to reassure her that I wasn't about to tell the entire family, I asked her for her phone number. It came out of her mouth so fast that the Micro Machines spokesman would have stood slack jawed. Eventually, I got it out of her slowly enough to put it into my phone. At that point, her friends decided enough was quite enough and took her home. I went outside to find the Heathers. They much enjoyed what I had to tell them. He'er asked if she could fuck my cousin. I think only if I get to watch.
I had gone down to the bar with Melanie to get her phone number out of her. On my way back up the steps onto the dancefloor, I small woman stopped dead in front of me and looked up and said, "TJ?" I said no, but I know why you mistook me for him. I looked at her and I was thinking, theatre, with a lot of weight loss since then. Shit. Oh. God. Her topless under my cape. Me painting glitter all over her boobs. What the hell is her NAME?!? She said, "Oh, you went to South though, right?" I told her I had and I remembered that I had been in theatre with her, told her my name. "Ok.", she says, "Do you remember me? Ring around the nipple?" "Yes, I remember, and I feel like such a schmuck that that's all I can remember. I'm so sorry I don't remember your name." She giggled and reminded me her name was Renee. We went down to the bar area again and sat and talked for a while. She too, has had to leave college because it was too much money with to little hope for a job after. I think there's a whole generation of us getting lost. I wonder what we'll make of it? What will be our protest? Anyway, as I was putting her number into the my phone, Heather cam up and told me it was time to go. I finished with Renee and went over to join my group. It had been an interesting night. I had danced, ground, groped, kissed (-ish), and scored two girls' phone numbers. Of course one was family and the other an old friend, but hey count em if ya got em. And thus we left.
The plan was to move on to some kind of food. We walked to the cars and Heather led the way. She got to the passenger side of the car and was just kind of staring at the rear passenger door. I could tell something wasn't quite processing. I thought of what He'er had told me on the way to the club. I looked at the ground at Heather's feet. I pulled out my phone and called the cops. I was told it would be at least an hour before a office could arrive. I talked with Heather and the others and started arranging ways for people to get home. I got this random guy to go to the club and get a trash bag to cover the window. Amazingly, the cop showed up minutes later. Heather worked on giving him details for the report while I cleaned the glass off the back seats and bagged over the window. We gave up on the food and everyone went home. As I was driving home, it became apparent that I had manages to get all kinds of glass shards embedded in my pants. It was not a happy thing. I got home, showered, and went the hell to bed.
As I'm writing this, one thing has become apparent... vintage Doors vinyl KICKS ASS.