RESUME - George W. Bush -Sunday, October 17, 2004 -12:54 pm-
LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S.history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S.. election).
I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD (weapon of mass destruction).
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
Wordswordswordswordswords -Tuesday, June 08, 2004 -12:57 pm-
So Squish is taking a hell of a beating over on her blog, and even getting lambasted on other people's blogs. I look at the stupidity of what's going on over there and can only sigh in familiarity. Everyone is yelling at her for what the wanted her to have said, not what she actually did say. This is how almost every conversation I've ever had with most of these people has gone. Here, let me explain.
What Squish said:
I don't feel like going to the Harry Potter movie. Oh look, the Arts Festival is free!
What everyone wanted Squish to have said so they could make drama:
I'm not going to the Harry Potter movie because I, as an artist, am above such things, as opposed to you mere mortals. By going to see a mass-media film, you all are confirming that you are but mere plebeians and not worthy of my time. So have fun debasing your simple selves at the alter of consumerism. I, on the other hand, will be expressing my superiority by going to the Arts Festival, an event which you could not possibly appreciate. Thank you all for electing me Queen of the Universe.
So, as you can see, there's a large gap between the reality and the prevailing conversation. Poor Squish was just doing something else and everyone decided it was time for a blanket party. For God's sake, let her be! If you want to attack someone for being a philistine, attack me. I think the previous Harry movies sucked in a most boring manner. This movie may, may, get a chance when it ends up at the fiddycent. Depends on if I want to waste 2.5 hours of my life or not.
Oh, and since this seems to be a common misconception: I do not think you're a bad person for going to see a movie I don't like. <super serious tone>The real reason I think you're a bad person is that you don't hold exactly the same views, opinions, and values that I do.</super serious tone>
A Call to Arms -Tuesday, June 01, 2004 -2:30 am-
One of my long-time friends is about to leave an abusive relationship. She is currently processing all the paperwork to separate her affairs from his and to prevent him from having contact with her or her daughter. Once the paperwork is complete, we will be doing a rapid extract from her current residence. We are in great need of movers. You shouldn't have to haul anything yourself, so vehicle size is irrelevant. There should be no risk to you because the extraction will be done while he is at work. I'm also going to arrange for a spotter and, if I still have the contacts, arrange to have a few professionals in the area should anything go wrong (yes I'm serious).
What I need are people to carry things out of the house and into the moving van. The complicating factor is that I don't know when this is going to happen. Those of you who can make yourselves available on short notice (as in drop what you're doing and come), please let me know and provide me with the quickest way to contact you. I'll provide you with a map to the house and let you know when it's time. Don't just reply to this entry, make sure you catch me in person on IM or on the phone.
All Your Uterus Are Belong to Ashcroft -Tuesday, February 17, 2004 -9:09 pm-
Every time I think I've head the most astounding thing yet from our Federal Government, they do something I couldn't even have imagined. A while back, the Fed passed The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act, which has the interesting effect of making it a Federal offense for a doctor to perform a partial-birth abortion when it's the only way to save a woman's life. There's been a temporary injunction against the enforcement of the law, and a set of doctors is suing the Fed to have the law revoked. The Justice Department, at the direction of the much reviled John Ashcroft, has subpoenaed the medical records of hundreds of people who have had such abortions to determine whether the procedures were medically necessary "or if it was just the doctor's preference to perform the procedure." Obviously, this is a violation of the Doctor-Patient Privilege. Ashcroft had this to say in reply:
"There is no federal common law protecting physician-patient privilege. In light of modern medical practice... individuals no longer possess a reasonable expectation that their histories will remain completely confidential."
Everyone got their torches and pitchforks ready?
The Avalanche Has Started, and the Pebbles No Longer Vote -Sunday, October 05, 2003 -4:30 am-
As you all know, I'm pretty pissed off at the American government. One of the most stupid things it has done it to enact a law called the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) (full text of law HERE.) The DMCA didn't even have to go through the Constitutionally mandated process to become a law. It was a treaty draft by the WTO and the WIPO that just became law because the US is a part of those bodies. What the DMCA does it prevent anyone from owning, creating, using, discussing, or sharing copyright-circumvention technology. Sounds like a good thing, right? It went horrible wrong. Ever downloaded a mp3? You're a felon. Ever ripped a CD? You're a felon. Ever played a DVD on a non-Windows or non-Apple computer? You're a felon. Ever owned an Apex DVD player? You're a felon. Ever tried to get a new CD that doesn't like your car CD player to play? You're a felon. Ever told someone you've found a flaw in the student ID card you use (BuckID or Blackboard)? You're a felon. We've lived under this draconian law for 5 years now. For the next few days, I'll be posting examples of how this law has violated 1st Amendment rights, punished the innocent, and stifled scientific advancement. Call your Congressmen.
Blackboard is a system of ID cards used on hundreds of campuses nationwide. Recently, as a research project, a student at one of the universities noticed several security vulnerabilities that could result in thousands of dollars being stolen from students. The student tried to give a lecture to security professionals from major universities. The result:
Blackboard Threatens Security Researchers
In April 2003, educational software company Blackboard Inc. used a DMCA threat to stop the presentation of research on security vulnerabilities in its products at the InterzOne II conference in Atlanta. Students Billy Hoffman and Virgil Griffith were scheduled to present their research on security flaws in the Blackboard ID card system used by university campus security systems but were blocked shortly before the talk by a cease-and-desist letter invoking the DMCA. Blackboard obtained a temporary restraining order against the students and the conference organizers at a secret "ex parte" hearing the day before the conference began, giving the students and conference organizer no opportunity to appear in court or challenge the order before the scheduled presentation. Although the lawsuit complaint Blackboard subsequently filed did not mention the DMCA, its invocation in the original cease-and-desist letter preceding the complaint contributed to the chill the students and conference organizers felt in challenging the complaint and proceeding with the scheduled presentation.
John Borland, "Court Blocks Security Conference Talk," CNET News, April 14, 2003.
http://news.com.com/2100-1028-996836.html
Or another case:
Professor Felten's Research Team Threatened
In September 2000, a multi-industry group known as the Secure Digital Music Initiative (SDMI) issued a public challenge encouraging skilled technologists to try to defeat certain watermarking technologies intended to protect digital music. Princeton Professor Edward Felten and a team of researchers at Princeton, Rice, and Xerox took up the challenge and succeeded in removing the watermarks.
When the team tried to present their results at an academic conference, however, SDMI representatives threatened the researchers with liability under the DMCA. The threat letter was also delivered to the researchers' employers and the conference organizers. After extensive discussions with counsel, the researchers grudgingly withdrew their paper from the conference. The threat was ultimately withdrawn and a portion of the research was published at a subsequent conference, but only after the researchers filed a lawsuit.
After enduring this experience, at least one of the researchers involved has decided to forgo further research efforts in this field.
Pamela Samuelson, "Anticircumvention Rules: Threat to Science," 293 Science 2028, Sept. 14, 2001.
http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/reprint/293/5537/2028
Letter from Matthew Oppenheim, SDMI General Counsel, to Prof. Edward Felten, April 9, 2001.
http://cryptome.org/sdmi-attack.htm
Go the the
Anti-DMCA Website to learn more.
